Ronj Staff

­Alex “Less is” Morrow

Alex “Less is” Morrow made the short trip from Lebanon, Maine to grace the Bates campus with her kid-at-heart spirit. She can often be seen riding around on her bike and sporting her stylish hipster glasses. When she’s not concocting her famous hot chocolate at the Ronj she enjoys spending her time playing Club Penguin.

Adam “Vowels” Figueiredo

Adam “Vowels” Figueirido hails from the small town of Weston, Massachusetts. He brought sexy back to Bates all the way from Tulane University, and the campus is still reeling from his arrival. When he’s not steaming up the Ronj you can find him sipping Piña Coladas and taking long walks on Popham Beach. P.S. Ladies, he’s single!

Ali “The Freshman” Hakusui

A descendent of the great ancient kings of Japan, Ali Hakusui is actually a princess in disguise. She gets her kicks by serving coffee for others who have no idea she is actually Japanese royalty. Also something of a tennis pro, Andy Roddick has been quoted as saying, “she scares the bejeezus out of me.” Among things she enjoys are memes and hating stupid people.

Andre “Gobi-Wan Kenobi” Gobbo

The man, the myth and the legend of Andre Gobbo originated in the small town of Chesterfield, NH. Aside from occasionally gracing Le Ronj with his presence (and sometimes helping out by applying some elbow grease), Andre lends his talents to the rowing team, the club hockey team, and the Model United Nations club. If you ever see him walking around, be sure to receive a handshake, because they’ll be worth millions in a few years. He also would like to remind you to stay classy, just like Ron Burgundy.

Barbara “Babs” VanDerburgh

Beth “Jewish Vortex” Siegert

Beth “Jewish Vortex” Siegert is typically found behind the Ronj counter in a floor-length evening gown because, hey, she just wants to look good. With curls that could cut diamonds and a wit that could cut through your emotions, this girl is by far the most Jewish being you will ever meet. Be wary.

Cameron “Caminator” Sheldon

A true Nutmegger, Cam takes an avid interest in hiking, kayaking and music.  A few of her favorite smells include fire, pine trees, and pumpkin pie! You may often find Cam riding her fire-breathing dragon, Leviathan, in Thorncrag Sanctuary or studying in PGill.”

Cassandra “The Sanj” Desrosiers

Who is Cassandra? This bodacious babe was born in Bremerton , WA but booked it to Boston. A born-beauty guru who bows down to nobody but Beyonce, she can be found belting out ballads or beguiled by YouTube.

Danya “Danyamite” Morris

Danya, birth given name Danielle, hails from oh HIGH! oh. When she isn’t shaking it on stage, she’s backstage handling the management of darkness, or behind the counter at Le Ronj. In addition, Danya-birth-name-Danielle’s mother is a spitting image of her. Yes, imagine birthing a child and then morphing into her. The power of Danya. Or Danielle? It’s still uncertain. Beware. Be amazed.

Emma “Bubbles” Reichart

Emma Reichart, famous for the songs written in her honor by Bon Iver and Jonathan Edwards, is a Junior at Bates College, double-majoring in Psychology and Pre-Med, and a star employee at the Ronj. When not jamming to Dropkick Murphy’s “Shipping Up to Boston”, Emma is eating pumpkin bread and drinking hazelnut hot chocolate while enjoying Fall, her favorite season. After a long day of coffee and chai-making, Emma drives (much too fast, the way she likes it) her yellow cement truck home to her Igloo floating on a raft in the Baltic Sea. To relax, Emma likes to knit toe-socks and tend to her prizewinning roses in her extensive flower garden. When asked to make a statement summarizing her advice for the human race, Emma said, “Shine on in the hearts of men”. And I think, ladies and gentlemen, that is exactly what Emma Reichart is all about.

Grace “Ritz” Glasson

Grace hails from the warm and beautiful fort of Beaufort, South Carolina (where Forrest Gump was filmed!). She often enjoys expressing her emotions IN ALL CAPS! and, when not belting it out in the Crosstones, can be heard playing beautiful music on her uke. You can often find her ‘zine making, dying her hair, or playing Zelda with her buddy Rusty.

Hakimah “Karma-Chameleon” Abdul-Fattah

While originally from Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hakimah “Karma-Chameleon” Abdul-Fattah (an avid supporter of S.P.E.W.) left this prestigious institution in protest of their use of house-elves.  She is now gracing the muggle world with her presence, including Bates’ very own Le Ronj.  While no longer able to use her wand, as previously top of her potions classes one can only describe her drink-making as magical.  Stop by and perhaps you’ll be lucky enough to receive a concoction from the lady herself.

Hally “Kamikaze” Bert

Hally is originally from Tacoma, Washington; and she attended the high school where the movie “10 Things I Hate About You” was filmed. Hally has ridden the world’s second longest gondola and her favorite television shows are “Arthur” and “Jeopardy”. Shawn Corey Carter (otherwise known as Jay-Z) is her role model and when she grows she wants to be a dinosaur.

Hannah “Kitchey” Kitchell

Born in the hollow of Vermont’s first Sugar Maple, Hannah “Kitchey” Kitchel grew up learning the languages of trees. Having published all the life stories of the trees in her state Hannah came to Bates in the Fall of 2009 to work alongside other green things. A political activist, lover of warm foods, and owner of several pretty water bottles, Hannah is the only Ronj employee with the ability to communicate with the espresso beans. Be sure to checkout her published works on the ginkgo tree’s liberation movements.

Holly “Hollaback Girl” McLaughlin

Holly was born in Chatham, Virginia on July 4, 1955. Her mother, Jane, was a school teacher at the local elementary school. She was sure to pass on a love for learning to Holly. Matthew Douglas, Holly’s father was a town farmer. He worked long days and nights, tending the farm, making sure he was able to provide for his family. As a young girl, Holly was eager to discover the world around her. She could be caught running around the farm one moment or reading a book on philosophy the next. She even took a liking to playing the piano, hoping one day she could be a classical pianist. The world had a different plan for Holly. She became a Ronj barista.

Isaac “The Stealthy Ike” Thompson

An excerpt from his autobiography, I Ronj, Therefore I Am : “I am Isaac Keeler Thompson. Some people call me Ike, after my Great Grandfather. I come from Yorba Linda, in sunny California. I am the youngest of five kids, and an Uncle of two, and all I really have to say is, “If you can’t deny the truth, then the truth can’t be denied…”

Johan “Yoyo” Mohtarudin

This gentle giant hails from Kuala Lumpur, the capital of the island paradise of Malaysia.

If he isn’t behind the counter at Le Ronj, he is on the (ballroom) dancefloor or caressing his girl Ira’s neck and body (many have tried but nothing can come between these two). He is a great friend and a great worker. PS, Ira is his ukulele.

Lyndsay “Wallawalla Bingbong” Wallace

As a current resident of Delaware, Lyndsay has returned to her home state of Maine to embrace the outdoors as a first-year student at Bates. Lyndsay enjoys camping, swimming, exploring new places, and is addicted to her favorite crime TV shows.

Max “Maxalicious” Pendergast

Everybody loves Max! With the voice of rolling thunder, she can serenade you ’till the tears start streaming down your face. Her favorite activities include: singing along loudly to Broadway showtunes and eating anything with cheese. She also has a fetish for aquatic plants (god knows why) and can babble in an Irish accent ’till the sun goes down.

Merrill “Gym” Brady

Merrill sprouted from Massachusetts and has lived there all of her life. Start conversations with her about anything from SNL to Mexican food. She is fascinated with both. She doesn’t like coffee but is obsessed with everything else in and about the Ronj.

Mickey “Mouse” McAlary

Mickey “Mouse” McAlary is an animated cartoon character who is often found in Disney productions. Usually donning red shorts, big yellow shoes, and white gloves, he is generally found in the company of his girlfriend Minnie and his dog Pluto.

Nolwazi “Wazzles” Ngwenyama

Hailing from the lands of Swaziland, Nolwazi makes the finest hot chocolate in all of Bates-dom. So good that it’ll give you a long lasting smile or diabetes. She’s interested in the base guitar and is extensively trained in the arts of using a lawn mower, specializing in zombie extermination. So if you ever do see zombies, look for Nolwazi while she’s on her shift and she’ll make you hot chocolate to calm the nerves and yourself safe with her trusty good old lawn mower.

Rusty “Oprah” Epstein

Unlike the majority of the Bates population, Rusty grew up in a small town just outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Contrary to popular opinion, he believes chicken-fried beef steak is one of the most satisfying meals Commons has to offer. Rusty especially enjoys ironic situations and knowing the words to classic Disney films.

Sean “Doleezza Rice” Keller

Sean grew up in Africa with his two zoologist parents where he was home-schooled until he was 16. When he got to his new school he was first friends with an artistic girl living on the edge and her gay best friend. Soon after, a group of girls, affectionately known as the plastics, took a liking to Sean. After a complicated web of events and vicious girls-world deceit, Sean got in over his head. Sean was wrongly accused of authoring a book spreading mean rumors about every girl in his class. Eventually Sean saw the errors of his ways and made a really heartfelt speech after being crowned Spring Fling Queen.

Ursula “Ushi” Sandstrom

Twitter grew up in the land of coffee, Seattle, where she spent her childhood sewing doll dresses and reading. Since then she has spent more time working for political campaigns and loggerhead sea turtles. At Bates, will not majoring in stress, she studies environmental economics.