{"id":6796,"date":"2025-05-23T14:32:37","date_gmt":"2025-05-23T18:32:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/?p=6796"},"modified":"2025-05-27T14:34:50","modified_gmt":"2025-05-27T18:34:50","slug":"slideshow-what-these-bates-seniors-will-miss-and-what-they-want-the-class-of-29-to-hear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/2025\/05\/23\/slideshow-what-these-bates-seniors-will-miss-and-what-they-want-the-class-of-29-to-hear\/","title":{"rendered":"Slideshow: What these Bates seniors will miss \u2014 and what they want the Class of \u201929 to hear"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

On a recent Thursday, Jose Carmona \u201925, a politics major from Chicago, walked a few blocks from campus to see Carmen Thibodeau at her home. He\u2019s been doing this throughout his four years at Bates, visiting the woman he considers his Lewiston grandmother. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thibodeau gives him everything from life advice to lemonade on these visits. He does his homework on her couch, and then they might catch up on whatever show they\u2019re watching together (Brilliant Minds<\/em> is a current favorite) while her 14-year-old dog, Sally, circles around them both. It\u2019s cozy, like family. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

How to Watch Commencement <\/strong>
Livestreamed on the Bates website<\/a> and the Bates Facebook page<\/a>, the Bates Commencement ceremony begins at 10 a.m. on Sunday, May 25, with live coverage beginning at approximately 9:30 a.m.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n\n\n\n

And at this point, the Thibodeaus and the Carmonas practically are<\/em> family, because Jose is not the first of this Chicago-to-Bates family to visit the tidy green house near campus. This relationship spans 11 years and three more Carmona siblings: Jose\u2019s brother and two sisters. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Jose
Jose Carmona ’25 of Chicago and Carmen Thibodeau hang out in the living room of her home near campus on May 15, 2025, with Thibodeau’s dog, Sally. They’re not related but she\u2019s been his Lewiston grandmother the whole time he\u2019s been at Bates. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

On Sunday, May 25, Jose will be the last of the Carmona siblings to graduate from Bates, following in the footsteps of Christopher, age 29, and Alanis, age 28, both members of the Class of 2018, and Carolina, who graduated in 2022. Each of them, during their journey through Bates, formed deep bonds with Carmen Thibodeau, her daughter Kristen, and, before his death in 2022, Carmen\u2019s husband, Richard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The highlights of their times together fill a few pages of the notebook sitting on the kitchen table in front of Carmen. She\u2019s jotted them down in preparation for an interview. They\u2019ve hit all manner of Maine hot spots, from lighthouses to apple orchards to Height of Land, near Rumford, where she and her husband grew up, and the Fryeburg Fair (the draft horses were a big hit). Her daughter, Kristen, took Jose to see Stephen King\u2019s place in Bangor last fall. Mother and daughter bought Jose his first legal drink on his birthday at Mac\u2019s Grill in Auburn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There have been Easters and Thanksgivings together. There\u2019s a Mexican restaurant in South Portland that Kristen found which made the siblings feel like they were experiencing something akin to their mother Rosa\u2019s legendary cooking. A shelving unit in the garage was devoted to summer storage for the Carmonas. Through these years there have been many airport runs. Farewells, but always greetings again in the fall because there has been at least one Carmona attending Bates since 2014 and a spot on the couch for them. Roommate problems? Starbucks cravings? Call Carmen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Jose
Jose Carmona poses with Carmen Thibodeau outside her home near campus. \u201cSome of my friends know that she\u2019s not my actual grandma,\u201d Carmona says, but others assume it. \u201cThey\u2019ll be like, \u2018Oh, you\u2019re going to Granny\u2019s house today?’\u201d (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s retired, having started her career at the Oxford Paper Mill in Rumford out of high school, taking a break when she had her daughter and son, then working at Liberty Mutual insurance in Lewiston for 30 years. She keeps very busy, helping neighbors with a multitude of errands and appointments. She\u2019s got a 9-year-old grandson. But the last of the Carmonas graduating from Bates is a landmark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 \u201cAnd when they leave, it\u2019s not going to be good,\u201d Thibodeau says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then she smiles and her eyes light up. \u201cOne of the kids one time said, \u2018Well maybe we could send one of the dogs.\u2019\u201d (Back home in Chicago\u2019s Logan Square neighborhood, the family has four dogs.) At least one Carmona will still be relatively close by; Alanis is just finishing her third year of a Ph.D. program in cancer metabolism at the Harvard School of Public Health and she pops up to see Thibodeau when she can. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just how did this relationship come to be? As far as Thibodeau is concerned, it\u2019s not particularly complicated. \u201cThey are so special and so nice, and the parents are so appreciative, how can you not? You know what I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"four
Jose Carmona (second from right) had just turned 15 when he posed with his siblings in May 2018 during a graduation party at Carmen Thibodeau’s home for Christopher Carmona ’18 (left) and Alanis Carmona ’18 (right), with their sister Carolina Carmona ’22 (second from left). (Photograph courtesy of Carmen Thibodeau)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But the story actually goes back to 2011, when Richard was a regular visitor to the Bates campus to walk their Siberian husky, Wyatt. Early one spring day, he struck up a conversation with a student named Uriel Gonzalez, a senior from Texas. Gonzalez had been noticing Richard and the beauty of the dog for years (\u201cit\u2019s just not a dog you see anywhere\u201d) and exchanging casual hellos. But that day they talked, and Richard mentioned he was looking forward to seeing the Senior Thesis Exhibition, particularly so he would see artwork by a senior he\u2019d read about who wove indigenous influenced themes<\/a> into his work. \u201cAnd I said, \u2018Well, I\u2019m the artist,\u2019\u201d Gonzalez remembers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy husband runs home with the dog,\u201d Carmen Thibodeau says. \u201cMy cousin Linda was visiting from California and we were sitting here in our PJs and having tea. And he comes in, \u2018Hurry up, hurry up, we got to go to the museum right now because we\u2019re going to see this artist\u2019s work and he\u2019s coming over for a visit after.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Richard, a licensed practical nurse, worked in eldercare in Lewiston and, prior to that, at one of the state\u2019s psychiatric hospitals, in Augusta. He was an avid reader, Carmen says, and \u201che could talk to anyone about anything.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gonzalez and the Thibodeaus became fast friends. After graduating, Gonzalez took a job in Bates Admission and stayed in Lewiston for nearly two years, stopping by the Thibodeaus\u2019 regularly. \u201cThey had a garden going and they\u2019d send me home with jalape\u00f1os and tomatoes,\u201d he recalls. And sometimes he stayed for dinner. \u201cCommons is obviously great food but sometimes you need a little bit of a changeup.\u201d They became close. \u201cThey\u2019re just very genuine, sweet people.\u201d Gonzalez was in the process of becoming a U.S. citizen at that time \u2014 Richard had urged him to do so \u2014 and the Thibodeaus were there for the citizenship ceremony when it became official.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Jose
Jose Carmona visits with Carmen Thibodeau on May 15. Thibodeau has helped the Carmona siblings get the most from their Bates, Lewiston, and Maine experience, including taking Jose to Mac’s Grill in Auburn for his first legal drink. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In 2013, Gonzalez left Admission and took a job as a college counselor at a charter high school in Chicago. There he made sure he introduced families to the idea that a small liberal arts college, like Bates, could be accessible to topnotch students regardless of their financial status. Because the Carmonas had two siblings in the same class year at the school, this message had particular resonance. After Christopher and Alanis were both accepted to Bates, they came to tell Gonzalez. \u201cObviously I\u2019m over the moon,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christopher was ready to pack his bags for Lewiston, but it wasn\u2019t an automatic yes for Alanis; \u201cI was very very attached to my mom,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd very scared of leaving.\u201d Gonzalez understood. His visit to Bates at age 17 for the college\u2019s fly-in Prologue program was his first time on an airplane. \u201cWe talked a lot about the transition, being away from home,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd I knew I wanted to connect them to the support network I had there.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cIt was almost like that instant connection \u2014 you could tell they wanted grandkids as much as we wanted grandparents.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Alanis recalls getting an email from Carmen and Richard during her and Christopher\u2019s first couple of weeks on campus. Would they like to come over? Richard could pick them up. \u201cAnd I was like, OK, we\u2019re putting a lot of trust out there.\u201d But as soon as they met Richard at Commons, any fears disappeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe was just instantly such a funny character,\u201d Alanis said. \u201cHe gave me grandpa vibes.\u201d When they walked into the Thibodeau house and met Carmen and the new husky, Nikita, the good vibes continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey didn\u2019t have grandkids at the time, and our grandparents had already passed,\u201d Alanis said. \u201cSo I think it was almost like that instant connection \u2014 you could tell they wanted grandkids as much as we wanted grandparents.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being from the Midwest, the brother-sister duo, born 10 months apart and dubbed the \u201cChicago twins\u201d by the Thibodeaus, didn\u2019t know much about Maine. \u201cOther than it\u2019s a vacation land and Bates is there, and there\u2019s water, and Portland,\u201d Alanis said, laughing. \u201cSo like dutiful grandparents, they really just showed us all around Maine. And soon enough we fell in love with Maine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"woman
Since 2014, when siblings Christopher and Alanis Carmona arrived at Bates, Carmen Thibodeau has been a source of comfort and joy for the closely knit siblings. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It was on a trip to L.L.Bean, where Carmen first heard Christopher speaking Spanish. His dad, Jose, had called while they were inside the store. \u201cI just wanted to follow Christopher around,\u201d she said. \u201cI loved listening to him speak Spanish. It was just beautiful.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christopher majored in economics and Alanis in biochemistry. Both minored in Chinese. \u201cThe semesters came and went. But the Thibodeaus were always there,\u201d Alanis remembers. \u201cThey kind of just became our family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By the time of their Commencement, their younger sister, Carolina, after a flirtation with another NESCAC school, was committed to coming to Bates that fall. But unlike her older siblings, she\u2019d be coming solo. At a party to celebrate graduation, Carmen remembers Rosa Carmona trying to express her gratitude for all that the Thibodeaus had done for Christopher and Alanis, and would do for Carolina. \u201cWe were kind of all crying,\u201d Carmen said. \u201cAnd she was just saying, \u2018You don\u2019t know how happy and good I feel to know that you and Richard are here for the kids.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

During that weekend in 2018, Jose, just 15 at the time, put on his big brother\u2019s graduation gown in a hallway in Chu. He remembers thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll recreate this moment someday, in my own robe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fall 2020, he applied to Bates early decision. He and Carolina, who like Christopher majored in economics, overlapped on campus for one year, when she was a senior. \u201cI would go to her dorm all the time.\u201d She, along with her friend group, helped with his transition to life away from home. So did one of his first professors, Scott Balcomb \u201975, then a lecturer in mathematics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Commencement
The Carmona family poses at Commencement in 2018. From left, father Jose, son Jose at 15, Christopher, Alanis, Rosa, and Carolina. (Courtesy of the Carmona family)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI would always go to his office hours, even when I didn\u2019t have class with him anymore,\u201d Jose said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou can feel the goodness in him,\u201d Balcomb says. \u201cHe was just so incredibly open. If I asked him a question or if he asked me a question, he really wanted to know whatever I thought. It was not like he was just being nice to the old man.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jose went on to take two more courses with Balcomb, both in calculus, not the easiest subject. This made Balcomb reflect on something essential he had learned himself as a Bates student arriving in 1971. \u201cBates provided the challenge that if I would work really hard, I could learn far more than I ever thought I could. But to do that, you had to take the challenge. It wasn\u2019t a one-way street. They presented the challenge, and you had to accept it. That\u2019s been my experience with Jose. I presented the challenge to him, and he accepted it and met it. That is just lovely to see. To me, that\u2019s what Bates should be about.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"The
Scott Balcolmb ’75, a lecturer in mathematics, taught Jose Carmona ’25 in three courses at Bates. Carmona, says Balcolmb, accepted the challenge to work hard, “and met it.” (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The other day, when Carmen found out how Jose did on his thesis (A+) she texted a few emojis. Exclamation points. Astonished face. Prayer hands and then a big thumbs up. In a few days, he\u2019ll be bound for Chicago and a job as an analyst at J.P. Morgan. If you ask Carmen if she might take on another Bates student as an informal host grandmother, she\u2019ll shake her head. The Carmonas were special.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you ask Jose, he has another take:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think after we go, she\u2019ll probably find another student that needs help, just because she\u2019s so helpful. And I would want that for someone else. I would want someone to have someone they can rely on and go to for advice. Maybe not completely depend on her, just because she is also a very busy lady. But if she does find a student that needs it, I would love that.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since 2014, a succession of four Bates siblings from Chicago have been able to lean on Lewiston neighbor Carmen Thibodeau for rides, rest, and real connection.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":6797,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_hide_ai_chatbot":false,"_ai_chatbot_style":"","associated_faculty":[],"_Page_Specific_Css":"","_bates_restrict_mod":false,"_table_of_contents_display":false,"_table_of_contents_location":"","_table_of_contents_disableSticky":false,"_is_featured":false,"footnotes":"","_bates_seo_meta_description":"","_bates_seo_block_robots":false,"_bates_seo_sharing_image_id":0,"_bates_seo_sharing_image_twitter_id":0,"_bates_seo_share_title":"","_bates_seo_canonical_overwrite":"","_bates_seo_twitter_template":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6796","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commencement-2025"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6796","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6796"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6796\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6798,"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6796\/revisions\/6798"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6796"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6796"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/commencement\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6796"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}