{"id":429,"date":"2010-04-21T16:02:51","date_gmt":"2010-04-21T16:02:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hub-dev.bates.edu\/magazine\/?page_id=429"},"modified":"2020-01-15T12:36:26","modified_gmt":"2020-01-15T17:36:26","slug":"the-wedding-gift","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/magazine\/back-issues\/y2008\/spring08\/features\/the-wedding-gift\/","title":{"rendered":"The Wedding Gift"},"content":{"rendered":"

Friends and family raise a barn, and some community spirit, at the farmhouse wedding of Kirsten Walter ’00 and Ben Ayers ’99<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kirsten Walter \u201900 and Ben Ayers \u201999 didn\u2019t register for traditional wedding gifts \u2014 eschewing the deep-sided pie dish, $17.99 at Macy\u2019s \u2014 but instead asked friends and family to contribute to a barn-raising at their circa 1800 farmhouse in Leeds, Maine.<\/p>\n

For two days prior to their Sept. 15 wedding, held in the completed barn, scores of family and friends, including some three dozen Bates alums, gathered to raise the frame and enclose the new building.<\/p>\n

The raising culminated weeks of framework that commenced in earnest when barn designer Brad Morse \u201999 arrived in August. He, along with Ayers and father-son neighbors Bruce and Nat Bell, formed a core team that cut the hemlock, milled the timbers at Bell\u2019s farm, and cut the frame behind the brick farmhouse.<\/p>\n

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\nBen\u00a0Ayers ’99 hammers pegs on Day One of the barn-raising as neighbor Kevin Hudner, an experienced timber-framer, steadies the beam.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As the gift of time, expertise, and funds grew large, the couple got uneasy about not being able to give back, \u201cother than some homemade jams,\u201d says Walter with a smile. Guidance came from two mentors, Gloria and Gregg Varney of nearby Nezinscot Farm, who said this: \u201cAsking for help is the biggest way to build trust.\u201d<\/p>\n

The truism resonated with the couple, whose careers involve building communities by building trust \u2014 she as founder of the urban-agriculture nonprofit Lots To Gardens, he as project director for the dZi Foundation, serving Himalayan communities. \u201cWe decided to accept everything that was happening,\u201d says Walter, \u201cand to feel incredibly honored by the trust, community, and friendships it helped us build.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\t\t