![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/news\/files\/2018\/06\/180609_Reunion_Panel_Tavares_0010.jpg\")
<\/a>Aya Murata \u201992 (center), a college counselor at Phillips Academy, speaks to the alumni gathering during Reunion. At right is Bates Director of Admission Darryl Uy, and at left is Katie Moran Madden \u201993, senior associate director at Dartmouth. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/p><\/div>\n
Reverse Your Thinking<\/h5>\n
\u201cFamilies sometimes go at the college process backwards,\u201d said Uy, who joined Bates in 2016. \u201cThey have an idea of where<\/i> they want to go to college, then they do everything they can to get there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Instead, he suggested, the process should \u201cstart with you<\/i>, the student \u2014 who you are, what you are interested in, and what you might want to do. Then find the schools that match your values and interests, rather than vice versa.\u201d<\/p>\nIt\u2019s All About the Why<\/h5>\n
\u201cHow does a student find a college that matches their interests?\u201d asked a parent, Elizabeth Leavitt Nemirovsky ’88 asked.<\/p>\n
The answer is actually a question: \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Because the college search begins with self-awareness and personal assessment, \u201ca lot of this process is about the why<\/i>,\u201d said Uy. \u201cIt\u2019s OK to say you want to be a lawyer, or be pre-med, or pursue engineering, but ask yourself why<\/i>. What sparked that interest? Is it what you<\/i> want to do, or is because of societal or parental pressure?\u201d<\/p>\n The process of identifying a college that feels right to your child is “about the why,” says Darryl Uy, director of admission at Bates (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/p><\/div>\n From there, a student can ask other questions. \u201cHow are you motivated? Is it competition or \u00a0grades or just wanting to do your best?\u201d From there, students can then look at environmental factors. \u201cDo you want a big university or a smaller college? Close or far from home?\u201d<\/p>\n Murata, who is a college counselor at Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass., was attending Reunion with husband Mike Charland \u201993 and their two children, one of whom is a rising high school senior.<\/p>\n She encourages students and their families to \u201cbe willing and able to put on blinders.\u201d That means trying to tune out all the noise around the college search \u201cand look internally and reflect on what\u2019s important to you. Don\u2019t key off what is out there.\u201d<\/p>\n Instead of paying attention to what everyone else is doing, \u201cinvestigate your own personal desires, inspirations, interests, and what you are curious about. Let that be the driver.\u201d<\/p>\n Try to ignore the college-search chatter, \u201cthe advice from the second chair of the trumpet section, or your teammate\u2019s opinion about a particular college, or what your English classmate says you are \u2018supposed\u2019 to do over the summer. Let it go: Be confident in listening to your inner voice.\u201d<\/p>\n To be sure, there is no \u201cpredictive formula\u201d when it comes to the college search, said Madden, \u00a0who is a senior associate director of admission at Dartmouth.<\/p>\n \u201cSo rather than trying to squeeze yourself into some magic admission formula that doesn\u2019t even exist,\u201d added Murata, \u201cbe authentic to who you are. Think about the things that matter most to you<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n In terms of comfort, each expert noted how the media (and well-meaning family members, friends, and others) tend to fixate on how the college admission process is about not<\/i> getting into college, when, in reality, it\u2019s exactly about the opposite.<\/p>\n \u201cEverything you read is about who does not get in where \u2014 and speculation about why,\u201d said Madden. \u201cBut in reality, most everyone lands somewhere and goes on to have a very positive experience.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf one part of you is not aligned in college \u2014 if the academics are great but the community doesn\u2019t feel right \u2014<\/b> you won\u2019t bring your best self to your college experience,\u201d said Murata.<\/p>\n She should know. As a high school senior deciding between Bates and another college, Murata chose the other. In her first year, \u201cthe personal fit was not what I imagined college to be.\u201d Greek life on campus didn\u2019t suit her. \u201cThe community felt divided.\u201d<\/p>\n So she transferred to Bates. \u201cThat was life-changing,\u201d and it was an a-ha moment that has stuck with her. \u201cI realized, so this<\/i> is what people talk about when they talk about \u2018fit.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n The lesson: You should be able to see yourself in your college community.<\/p>\n Students get peppered with that awful question, \u201cSo, what are you thinking about for college?\u201d That applies \u201cunneeded pressure,\u201d Murata told the parents.<\/p>\n Instead, Murata shared advice that she picked up from Bates\u2019 Purposeful Work program, specifically that adults can help students identify their interests, because identifying what interests us<\/a> is the first step toward discovering purposeful work \u2014 and it turns out, a college that fits.<\/p>\n \u201cTry asking your child something like, \u2018Hey, tell me about what you are studying these days that is piquing your interest?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Adults can also be reflectors: reminding students of experiences, such as a favorite class, topic, or program, that jazzed them and thus might hint at a future college interest.<\/p>\n \u201cAs a student, you have a right to be uncertain and to explore. You don\u2019t need to have it figured out. You don\u2019t need a grand master plan. You can be in a place where you are unsure. That is OK.\u201d<\/p>\n Colleges often talk about their values and culture, and those can seem like highfalutin concepts to a 17-year-old. They\u2019re not.<\/p>\n \u201cStudents should ask about the values of a college and how those values are transmitted throughout the institution,\u201d says Murata because they affect student life. Take Bates, for example. \u201cBates values permeate this community, and those values in turn become part of the culture a student experiences.\u201d<\/p>\n President Clayton Spencer speaks to admitted students and their families during a campus reception in April. A record number of prospective students applied to the incoming Class of 2022. (Theophil Syslo\/Bates College)<\/p><\/div>\n Still, \u201cthe cultural piece is hard to get your hands on from a college publication or website.\u201d So Murata advises students to be active in their visits. \u201cTalk to the tour guides. Take time on campus to hang out or have lunch with a student, if that\u2019s offered. Sit on a bench and watch how people move from class to class.\u201d<\/p>\n Not all students are able to visit a campus. Whether you can visit or not, there are creative ways to gather the more amorphous information. For one, students should check out a college\u2019s social channels or student-driven social channels.<\/p>\n \u201cNo matter where you are in the world, you can be on a school\u2019s Instagram feed<\/a>,\u201d said Madden. \u201cIt\u2019s a different way to connect but you can still connect.\u201d<\/p>\n Uy has heard this line from students: \u201cThey\u2019ll say, \u2018I want to apply Early Decision, but I don\u2019t know what college.\u2019\u201d Problem is, \u201cthat\u2019s like saying, \u2018I want to get married, I just don\u2019t know to whom yet.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Early Decision makes sense for the student who is all-in on one college. But you need to feel a total commitment to a college. \u201cNinety-nine percent is not enough because that 1 percent of doubt will eat at you all senior year and make you question your decision,\u201d Uy said.<\/p>\n Simply put, the essay matters. \u201cIt’s one of the more important pieces in the application beyond the numeric measures of data, such as your high school transcript,\u201d said Uy.<\/p>\n From the college\u2019s perspective, \u201cit helps us understand who you are as an individual: What motivates you, what inspires you, how you will fit into the community, how you will inspire your peers, how you will challenge yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n Importantly, it is also \u201cpart of the process that you control,\u201d said Madden.<\/p>\n Uy and Madden made it clear that your essay should not hinge on epic or cataclysmic events in your life. \u201cIt\u2019s not an exercise in the bizarre,\u201d adds Uy, recalling an essay about dating that recounting the applicant\u2019s \u201cfirst time.\u201d<\/p>\n Some of the best essays can be \u201cSeinfeldian,\u201d he said. \u201cThey could be about nothing but a few moments in your ordinary life that I can\u2019t find anywhere else in your application. If you could take me into your life for 5 minutes, I think that is a successful essay.\u201d<\/p>\n Still, they say, the personal essay does hinge on good writing and an authentic voice.<\/p>\n \u201cTry to find a topic that resonates with you and your experiences so your personality and voice can shine through,\u201d Uy said. \u201cDon\u2019t curate yourself to the point you are not authentic,\u201d added Madden.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you\u2019re not funny in real life, don\u2019t try to be funny in your essay. That rarely works,\u201d Uy said.<\/p>\n Students might think twice about arguing a current issue or cause in their essay \u2014 but not because it might be controversial. \u201cWe want to know about your interests or political perspectives, because we are all shaping communities and we\u2019re trying to encourage dialogue,\u201d Madden said.<\/p>\n Alumni and their college-bound children listen to Darryl Uy, Aya Murata ’92, and Katie Moran Madden ’93 during the June 9 Reunion conversation about the college search. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/p><\/div>\n Rather, in writing about a current issue or cause, \u201cwe often learn more about the cause than about you,\u201d explained Madden. And that defeats the goal of the essay.<\/p>\n He also advised against writing about death, divorce, and depression. Not because they\u2019re taboo or upsetting, but because \u201cthose topics are very difficult for a 17-year-old to address in 650 words in a way that is going to come across as mature and reflective. The treatment we see is often clich\u00e9d.\u201d<\/p>\n To put their best foot forward, students need to understand what colleges have to do: “We’re evaluating applications from more qualified applicants than we have seats in our class,” said Madden.<\/p>\n To do that, \u201cwe assess merit, and each college or university may assess merit differently, depending on their own individual communities and institutional needs,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n To assess academic merit, colleges look at a range of factors, especially the transcript.<\/p>\n \u201cWe also assess merit through extracurricular activities and talents. We assess it through your intellectual engagement, which we glean from your writing and your recommendations.<\/p>\n The essay, she says, offers students an opportunity to share their personal qualities and what they value. \u201cAnd that is about merit, too,\u201d she said. \u201cAll of us are trying to shape a community. And we try not to create a community of people with similar talents, interests, perspectives.\u201d<\/p>\n To that end, \u201cmake the essay about you<\/i>. It doesn\u2019t have to be exciting. It doesn\u2019t have to move us.\u201d<\/p>\n Murata handled a question about parents who call the shots on college choice.<\/p>\n While she can play the role of \u201cintermediary\u201d on occasion, \u201cultimately the student does have to advocate for their education. It\u2019s not the parent or guardian who is going to college. But it is tricky if a parent says, \u2018I\u2019m paying so you go where I want you to go.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<\/a>Put on Blinders<\/h5>\n
You Hear the Wrong Things<\/h5>\n
It\u2019s About Academics \u2014 And More<\/h5>\n
Let Uncertainty Be Part of the Process<\/h5>\n
Values Matter<\/h5>\n
<\/a>Just Connect<\/h5>\n
The Early Decision Question<\/h5>\n
You Control Your Essay<\/h5>\n
The Seinfeld<\/i> Approach to the Essay<\/h5>\n
Essay Do’s and Don\u2019t’s<\/h5>\n
<\/a>A Question of Merit<\/h5>\n
Parents Who Push<\/h5>\n