{"id":173298,"date":"2026-06-04T13:22:25","date_gmt":"2026-06-04T17:22:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/news\/?p=173298"},"modified":"2026-06-05T12:10:32","modified_gmt":"2026-06-05T16:10:32","slug":"be-you-bravely-stephanie-kelley-romanos-baccalaureate-speech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bates.edu\/news\/2026\/06\/04\/be-you-bravely-stephanie-kelley-romanos-baccalaureate-speech\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Be You, Bravely\u2019: Stephanie Kelley-Romano’s Baccalaureate speech"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Each year the graduating class at Bates picks a faculty or staff person to offer the Baccalaureate Address. The Class of 2026 selected Professor of Rhetoric, Film, and Screen Studies Stephanie Kelley-Romano. After the ceremony on May 30, 2026, so many people asked for a copy of Kelley-Romano’s speech that Bates News is printing it in full here. (There is also a video embedded below if you prefer to watch it.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I was just a couple years younger than you, my high school guidance counselor told me, \u201cStephanie, you\u2019re not college material.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be fair, I was using drugs and alcohol excessively and barely attending class. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yet, here I stand: a woman in long term recovery from alcohol and substance use, and a professor at the absolute best liberal arts college. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Caroline [McCarthy  \u201826 of New Haven, Conn.,] asked if I would give this baccalaureate speech, my immediate thought was: \u201cNo. You cannot possibly do that.\u201d Hell, I can\u2019t even spell Baccalaureate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Stephanie
Stephanie Kelley-Romano, professor of rhetoric, film, and screen studies, during her Baccalaureate address on May 30, 2026. The graduating class chooses their speaker for Baccalaureate each year. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College) <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

You see, I still struggle sometimes with imposter syndrome \u2014 the fear that my entire life has been a series of mistaken judgments by other people who will eventually realize I do not belong here. But over time, I\u2019ve learned something important: that voice usually shows up when I\u2019m going to try to do something new \u2014 and usually something hard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And standing up here, telling you honestly what I think matters as you leave Bates and move into the world \u2014 that feels pretty vulnerable. That voice tells me you\u2019ll think it\u2019s cheesy or overly sentimental, but then I realized, the life I have lived, the things I have overcome to be the person I am today, absolutely qualify me to give this speech. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So today, I want to share three things I\u2019ve learned throughout my life \u2014 and essentially my recovery \u2014 because I was basically your age when my life fell apart and I had to start over. And yes, there are three because I\u2019m a rhetoric professor, and if I don\u2019t follow the ancient \u201crule of three,\u201d all my students will come for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First: actions indicate priorities.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your life is shaped far less by what you say matters than by what you repeatedly do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Decisions without action are just intentions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"One
One Baccalaureate tradition is that the processional passes through archways adorned with prayers, poems, and blessings offered by parents, guardians, and other loved ones. Here the processional, led by President Garry W. Jenkins with Caroline McCarthy  \u201826 of New Haven, Conn., at left, makes its way through the Class of 2026 archway. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College) <\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t tell you the number of times I woke up and said to myself, \u201cToday, I\u2019m not going to drink, I won\u2019t smoke, I\u2019ll go to the gym, I won\u2019t eat like a feral child\u2026 .\u201d But I took no action. I still went to the bar \u2014 hopeful that I\u2019d drink Diet Coke \u2014 kept Oreos in the house, hoping my willpower would prevail. Spoiler alert \u2014 that didn\u2019t work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I want you to think honestly about your life: Do your actions reflect the person you want to become? How do you spend your time? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

If you are not your authentic self, the people who need you \u2014 and the people you need \u2014 will not be able to find you. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We talk about time as if it were money. We spend time. Save time. Waste time. But this metaphor makes us think of efficiency as the ultimate goal of life, and it prompts us to value productivity instead of meaning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As many of you know, I am extremely busy. I\u2019m a single mom. I chair the RFSS department. I am the faculty liaison to the baseball team. Hum Babe! I work with a lot of people in recovery. I maintain a ridiculous number of friendships. And I periodically lose entire afternoons to Fortnite. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"The
The Class of 2026 arriving at the Historic Quad for their Baccalaureate on May 30, 2026. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College) <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But this year, I realized something: I was becoming efficient at things that were less important to me than the people in my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I made a commitment to put people first. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not theoretically. Practically. Because remember, decisions without action are just intentions. So I took actions: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started calling friends instead of texting. Scheduling trips and visits. Asking students how they were liking Bates, or asking them how they were, and actually listening \u2014 rather than just directly telling them immediately how to improve their paper. I tried (and am still trying) to make my actions reflect my actual values. On my \u201cto do\u201d list every day is \u201cbuild connections\u201d \u2014 and I have to take an ACTION every day to do that. Not just think about it, meditate on it, plan on it, or figure how how to \u2014 actually do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also realized I did (and still do) this thing called \u201cstory stealing\u201d \u2014 if you told me about something you did, or a place you visited, I automatically jumped in with MY experience with that thing or place. UGH. That doesn\u2019t build connection, that builds my ego. So instead, I try to ask a couple questions about YOUR experience before I run my mouth about myself. I try to demonstrate my concern and care about you and your experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Professor
Professor of Rhetoric, Film, and Screen Studies Stephanie Kelley-Romano and President Garry W. Jenkins at the Class of 2026 Baccalaureate on May 30, 2026. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College) <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Because my priorities are not what I say they are. My priorities are what my life demonstrates. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second: becoming is a process, not an event. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it is almost always a messy process. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We live in a culture that wants certainty immediately. You want to know who you are, where you\u2019re going, whether you\u2019re succeeding, whether you\u2019re doing life \u201ccorrectly.\u201d I have more goal trackers and daily success planners than I can count! But the truth is most meaningful growth happens before clarity arrives and usually when I don\u2019t notice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a professor, I see this all the time. Students often want to know exactly what they think before they\u2019ve done enough thinking to know anything yet. But real learning requires uncertainty. It requires experimentation. It requires the willingness to start with something imperfect and revise it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My students know I use the metaphor of a cement mixer. You come to Bates as a giant rotating drum, and we shovel in ideas, experiences, theories, books, conversations, mistakes, and possibilities. Then you start trying to build something with all of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, what comes out is a messy, gloopy blob. That\u2019s what drafts are for. That\u2019s what student office hours are for. That\u2019s what conversations are for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You shape it. Refine it. Strengthen it. Eventually, you create something sturdy enough to stand on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life works the same way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most failures are not verdicts. They are information. It\u2019s all just data. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If something doesn\u2019t work, that does not mean you are broken or you have failed. It means you learned something valuable about what needs adjusting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I first tried to be sober, I learned that at that point, I could not go to a bar and expect not to drink. For a while, I had to change my physical surroundings and learn how to socialize sober. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Becoming is iterative. You are allowed to revise yourself. You MUST revise yourself. When you wake up tomorrow morning you will not be the person you are today. You\u2019ll be tomorrow\u2019s person. You are not your final self today. So what will you do today to live your values and be the best you? How will you spend your time today? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And finally: be you, bravely. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This may be the most important thing I have to say today: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not your authentic self, the people who need you \u2014 and the people you need \u2014 will not be able to find you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A
A view of the archway at Baccalaureate on May 30, 2026. (Phyllis Graber Jensen\/Bates College)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

We are all performative to some extent. We learn how we are \u201csupposed\u201d to act if we want to be cool, successful, respected, ambitious, impressive, accepted. When I first became a professor, I had a very specific image in my head of what a professor was supposed to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought professors were people who stood at the front of rooms delivering expertise. The sage on the stage. So I lectured a lot. I graded aggressively. I tried to perform authority. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But eventually, I realized that at my core, I\u2019m not someone who only loves teaching, I\u2019m someone who loves learning with people and gets to do so through teaching. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And once I leaned into that, I became a better professor. I stopped treating classrooms as places where I proved my intelligence and started treating them as spaces of shared curiosity. I became more collaborative, more open, more comfortable admitting that no matter how much I know about rhetoric, there is always more. Enheduanna! Google her! Enheduanna! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see you students do this too \u2014 you try to give the right answer, behave the way \u201cgood\u201d students do \u2014 use very big words and long sentences. To get it \u201cright.\u201d To impress, to earn, to succeed. But what if success was just being authentic as you learn? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The goal is not perfection. The goal is not endless accomplishment or accolades. The goal is to build a life that feels honest and that fosters meaningful connections. From that base, that foundation, I can do the hard things I want to do to change the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The people who need you cannot find you through a performance. If I didn\u2019t tell people that I once struggled with substance use, people who need to explore that topic for themselves wouldn\u2019t know they have a listener in me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The life meant for you cannot be built on what you think you should want, or sadly, even the things you want to want. It will be built on what you are and what you do. So start there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Professor
Professor Stephanie Kelley-Romano greets her student Kelly Saldana  \u201826 of East Harlem, New York, at Baccalaureate for the Class of 2026 on May 30. Saldana was in Kelley-Romano’s first year seminar and became a rhetoric, film, and screen studies major (and a psychology major as well). Kelley-Romano was her thesis advisor. (Phyllis Graber-Jensen\/Bates College)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

As you leave Bates, I hope you take risks. I hope you allow yourselves to become, un-become, and then re-become. I hope you measure your life not only by what you achieve, but by how authentically you exist in the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So my advice to you? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be you \u2014 fully, imperfectly, bravely. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find your people. Find your places. Find your causes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make them better by being there as you \u2014 fully, imperfectly, bravely. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Watch Professor of Rhetoric, Film, and Screen Studies Stephanie Kelley-Romano’s full speech at Baccalaureate, starting with an introduction by Kelly Saldana ’26 of East Harlem, New York.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n

\n\t\t\t
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