BOC Minutes 1/16/14

Preparatory Music:

Song playing while I write minutes: Money Trees – Kendrick Lamar

Song you should play while reading minutesErik Satie – Gymnopédie No.1

The week’s meeting, as with last week’s, started off with a lovely opening remark by the likes of Ms. Balter. I’d like to think that if Erik Satie had known Allie, he would have written a pleasantly calm and uplifting song in her honor. Oh, let us not be concerned with such lofty abstractions though. I’m sure the only reason you are bothering yourself with this email after all is to learn of the discourse of the past B.O.C. meeting, and surely not to waste any time enjoying off-topic banter.

Allie, in her address took time to thank our Vice President, Alex Weissman, for supplying nothing short of a herculean effort to organize such a successful Winter Carnival. If you know Alex, you know that he handles these sorts of tasks with unending grace and composure. We love Alex, even despite his sadistic tendencies.

This week has been fun. Personal highlights included recreating this scene at the Rollerdrome (sans cake) and winning the snow sculpture competition by default by simply claiming one of the snowbanks around campus as my sculpture. This is me after collecting my cash prize.

But Winter Carnival isn’t over yet, which leads me into announcements….


  • There is still one more event this week—the infamous Kevin Deng Memorial Puddle Jump. Alex is looking for more volunteers to help out with various puddle-preparation tasks. Email him if you wanna end the week on a benevolent note.
  • Jordan Carhart has made a special trip to MRG (see last week’s minutes for meaning of acronym) to ask them questions regarding improving our very own bouldering wall. OH SNAP. This kid has already brought 10x more legitimacy to the climbing director position compared to anyone before him. First off, Jordan inquired about getting fresh and affordable bouldering pads, which are badly needed. He found out that we can get a great deal from a foam company that is actually in the Lewiston. Boy, it sure is nice to live in the manufacturing capital of Androscoggin County. Secondly, MRG is upgrading to a mega gym (think this) and they are getting rid of their old climbing holds and shoes. We could be in prime position to cop this GEAR when this move happens. Stay tuned.
  • In other climbing news, Toby, the other climbing director, is planning a work trip this weekend to strip the wall, and clean the holds. Callum “can’t remember what he ate for breakfast” Douglas, a climbing celebrity at Bates, recently had to confine himself to a dark room for several days (long story). During this time, he envisioned a world in which Ruth Bader Ginsberg was a member of OutKast (long story). He also thought of 6-8 new routes for the wall. Cal is going to set these routes and we’re going to have a climbing competition on them before anything else is set. Sounds like fun.
  • Josh: “We now have access to the P.E. van” The keys are located at the front desk of Merrill. To use, you need to sign the van out. When done with the van, the tank should be filled with gasoline. The price we are paying for the van this year is significantly lower than in the past. Instead of going 50-50, we are now only paying for approx. (π/π^2) of the van (+ gas). This is entirely due to the previously lauded efforts of the fearsome Baltuvent team. They showed Furbush who’s bush was who’s.
  • [For this announcement please, pause the Saite track and play the Kendrick Lamar song listed above] Alex, through contacting the Lady From Lost Valley found out about a unique opportunity to make some serious bank for the club. Basically, Lost Valley is supplying us with a groomed tubing trail as well as a large body of customers that will be at the slopes for their annual winter fest. All we have to provide is staff, administration, and all the other necessary tools to run a tubing hill. We keep ALL the proceeds. Apparently, giving us this gig is a charitable gesture on behalf of Lost Valley……..We discussed this for a while—whether or not it was something that we wanted to take a risk for. Ultimately the BOC voted for the C.R.E.A.M. Alex will call The Lady and tell her that we are down.


  • [Resume Saite] Dan-the-man is going to the Crockers this weekend. He already sent out an email, I believe. Dan is fearless, and so when the club raised concerns for potentially treacherous conditions, he simply chuckled. Dan embodies the lately-perished BOC rugged initiative that we once as a club were known for. Hats off to Dan. (That was all 100% serious despite other parts of this email).
  • Jordan wants the club to fund of portion of the $95 fee for him (and several others) to attend an ice climbing class for college students taught by this famous dude. The idea is that with newfound skilz, Jordan and others can come back to Bates and lead sick/nasty climbing trips (think Barry Blanchard). We fervently discussed this proposition. Ultimately we settled on voting  for co-sponsoring the trip for only the couple of individuals who have proven to be already-active members of the BOC. We will potentially fund the other members upon the premise that they lead trips first with their new skilz. This proposition passed narrowly. During the vote, the hairs on the back of my neck were raised. True story.
  • Brace yourselves for this next one. Toby informed the club that the ultra-wicked gear super store, REI, has this giant sale every few months called the garage sale. It works like this: gear headz buy gear from REI, return it to REI. REI can’t resell this gear as new because it isn’t (DUH). They have garage sales where they sell this gear as used (but effectively new). The catch is that the gear is super cheap; we’re talking 80% off sometimes. At this point in the announcement my brain effectively shuts down, as the endorphins released upon learning of this deal overload all other cerebral processes. When I recovered, I realized how fortunate I am live in a world where we can buy such nice gear at nice prices. It really allows us to do so much more than what otherwise would be possible. Look at this guy for instance. 
  • Kristen met Mika Burnhart (spelling?) at an ice climbing fest she went to this past weekend. After some serious bonding, she found out that Mika does speaking events at colleges sometimes and could possibly come to Bates if we are interested. Her subjects include organic coffee and adventures. Mhmmmmmm.
  • Also on the subject of speakers, Allie talked to Teddy P. who knows the first openly gay male to climb Mt. Everest. He could potentially come speak to us as well. Gnar.
  • Dana is going snowshoeing at the t-crag sanctuary. He sent out an email about this already. Sounds like a jolly jaunt to-be. 


[The minutes are outrageously long at this point. I will be terse now.]

  • Brian K. proposes these things called nordic skates which are a hybrid between nordic skis and ice skates. They allow you to skate on rivers/lake for miles and miles. $175 proposed for one pair.
  • Nate Dip. triumphantly returns to BOC and proposes $900 for some 4-season sleeping bags to go with out new tents.


  • Saebs is now on her way to learning how to swim.
  • Alex has a rashy butt. Ew.