BOC Minutes 11/13/13
The short tenure of the slobbering W.T. Cunningham is now over. He returns to his lair, stumbling, to weep and snivel as he remembers his evening at the controls of the BOC’s communication apparatus. Oh great and slimy W.T, oh king of diminutive shorebirds, you are but a substitute in this honorable office, but a decent one, and you are much appreciated. Hear that small rumble, deep in Lake Andrews? Walk along the cluster of reeds by the small monolith sculpture, stumble past the curve along the shore that picks up the trash when the wind blows west at the base of amphitheater. In the mudflat by a culvert, an assemblage of a thousand sand worms, turn their bodies inside out over and over again, a disemboweled applause for your service. The sand worms honoring you, the sand worms—your only fans.
Secret Satan is next week… meeting attendees placed their names in a hat. Gifts for secret satan MUST be HAND MADE or AUGMENTED plus A POEM that hints at who the gift giver (aka you) is.
If you want to participate and did not attend the meeting. Email me (Brian.kingdebrownhouse.Kennedy). I will play matchmaker.
Collin- Billy “Sonic Orgasm” Collins is playing in the little room Friday (TONIGHT) night. His music is described as inspired by “ski culture.” “What does this mean?” coughed the humble secretary. Others nodded in agreement, somewhat thrown by the ambiguous reference to resort towns and petroleum based polymers. Nonetheless, I am sure the show will be awesome—I spent many a night this summer, worn and bruised from my air conditioned office job, entertained for hours by the synthesizers of this once bearded minor god of keyboards. Brian Eno beware! Show is at 11 PM.
Wetsuits have been ordered.
Allie “wears running shoes at inappropriate times” Balter said look out for a Nova Scotia email to trip participants
Gordo asked “when are future waxing sessions John ‘midnight hour’ Barboturbodup?” J. replied “this week was minimally attended, but I, John “Barbed-Wire” Barbadoro will be there friday tuning- 4:00 – 5:30 at E-room,” john will send out another reminder.
Tim “totally worthless” Campbell was ejected from his position as Parliamentarian. The club unanimously voted to remove Timothy, let his name be mentioned amongst nouns like traitor and bad person.
A sub-committee to humiliate the disgraced bureaucrat was formed
a SPECIAL ELECTION WAS HELD to elect a new Parliamentarian: P-mentarian knows the constitution back to front, he/she is the judicial branch of the club, checking the excesses of the council.
The two candidates were: Colin Alexander “brail face” Mccoullough and Daily Anne “the IV” Johnson III
VOTE: Colin “crap-foot” Mccoulough ellected interim parliamentarian, we all hold up our fingers—colored blue from the election ink—victoriously, proud of democracy, proud that we have a voice, but mildly disappointed in the end result.
Venerable president Josh “Ivory Tower” Sturtevant declares his isolation from his constituents. He calls a name calling circle and everyone declares their name, a crude census for the flannelled autocrat.
ELECTIONS- will commence: nominations will begin next meeting- you must be a council member to be elected.
Positions are plentiful in the BOC, and they are as follows: president, vp, secretary, trez, e room director(s), cabins and trails, hickories (2), watersports directors (2), surfing directors (2), biking director (2), environmental director, hikes and trips (2), Treasurer in Training, webmaster, safety director, parliamentarian, and climbing directors (2)
The eager new parliamentarian is assigned a task: The club asks him: tell us the process for a constitutional amendment. Soon he will tire of public service, the monotony of government calcifying his ambition. His vigilance will falter as fun becomes paper sorting and envelope licking, but for now he is young and green, let us use young Colin!
GREEN FUND- sign the petition!
John “Melted Face” Barbodoro may go skiing and then go to the rock gym Portland, he will email about this. I once was in a car with john for two hours, it was disgusting.
bryhan “valley girl” LEhyr–> will go on an adventure. Raise your hand if you care?
SHRED CLUB GOES TO ANTI-GRAV center 10:30 to 5 on Sunday we have ten spots. I ask the question, quietly but with purpose, isn’t shred club a better club? The center (aka complex) has an indoor skatepark, trampolines, shred club is better club, gym, rock wall
GORDO- will go to Killington over the turkey sacrificing holiday. Honest and straight shooting Gordo plans a bates reunion at the noble Vermont anthill. If you want to meet up and SHRED Gordo will send email
John “adorable headband” Barboturbo-dup- $125 for a ten punch pass, infinite worth, no expiration date for the Maine Rock Gym, largest little rock gym in Maine
TUNING GEar from John “waxed thighs” Barboturbodup– wants new files/guides/wax/gummystone/ $100 dollars
JORDAN “broke down” Cargill proposes some 4 season tents and cold as hell sleeping bags- $900ish. The fate of our other 4-season-ers is unkown, a search will be held, with torches and pitchforks, tonight at 9 PM in front of the E-room
COUNCIL STORY for NOEL (aka cowboy Noel)–> this summer as a high school graduation gift (I got a wetsuit for my gift, and a book about greek literature) went to BAMF NP in canada town, parents are old and not as in shape as NOEL, BAMF is in g bear country. Noel went on a guided horse ride. Horse was hungy for posion berries. noel prevented poison berry consumption by tugging on the bridle. The horse’s bridle breaks (TERRIFYING) no solution found–> LESSON IS–> bring spare tack or ride bridleless We applaud Noel for his story and welcome him into our order.
Brian “Dabberlock” Kennedy