BOC Minutes 11/11/15


Here’s what you need to know to start your evening.

Squanto greets all.


Audrey – AESOP coordinator meeting Monday, eyeballs out for emails. Meatballs out for eyemail. AESOP coordinator position is low key a huge deal. Fools need not apply.

Hannah is talking about website stuff. Check it out. Things are more accessible now. Click here for immediate cyberteleportation. Thank you Hannah for spreading the good BOC word. Also, the minutes are posted and public, which is really, really funny to me.

Daly – Give me money for sweatswag (that sounds gross but they’re actually awesome. How ’bout that back design? Hot damn. mmmm. Hot damn.) $30 and you can stay warm and reminiscent of carefree years past for a lifetime or until you get too fat to wear the size you wear now.

Noel – Send me your noodz!  #noodz4noel. He’s doing uhhhh, a school project… (it’s actually for the 19th annual BOC calendar just in time for the holidays. no penises, boobs or vaginas allowed, but mild/moderate tush inclusion is acceptable/encouraged. )

George “Shreddy Wap” Merrill – Ski swap on Sunday at the Auburn middle school if you’re looking for things on the cheap. Get ready for ski season! Farmer’s Almanac says that radishes deter beetles when planted around crops of beans, squash, melons, and cucumbers.


Jordan is going to camping house cabin for a minute at the beginning of break. Probs climbing, but excellent outdoor opportunities nearby for first 4 days of break. All welcome, unless, of course, you suck. Own transportation req’d because the jizm prizm is getting up there in the years. Look for an email

Swashbuckla is going to the Bigelows this weekend! Woo winter camping! Everyone welcome. Limited number of everyone, email sent out, hop on it nao! Good for beginners. 5 mi/day (science notation for days per slash).


Yvon Chouinard‘s car proposed by Jacob “Koby” Yudkin, looks like a Subaru, is a Toyota. $34,000. Passed! Outbid on Craigslist seconds before purchase was made. Larry Stewart smiles quietly to himself and wipes a single bead of sweat from his brow.

A 1960s bush plane was proposed for $13,000 by Eric Wainman. Passed unanimously. Ex-parliamentarian Chris “ex-parliamentarian” Crum hears this via his bugging of the tape-balls of the pages of the Constitution hung in the meeting room, hops in his 1960s bush plane and flies from Tortuga to Chase, arriving just in time to inform us that as an alumnus, Eric Wainman is no longer a council member and the proposal is thus invalid. It was very exciting.


Julia re-proposed LL Beanis toboggans which were passed last year but sold out. Passed! Actually though. They go wicked fast. Regulation: 4 person capacity, BOC regulation: 4-6 person. All at meeting quietly visualize a 8-naked-person launch at the Skill and Grill.


Anonymous heard a story about anonymous and friends several years ago, went up to Bigelows to try to summit West and Avery before sunrise. Decide to take “most direct route” (famous last words). Got super lost, scared about the secret Navy base in the area where a woman disappeared years ago. After wandering logging and 4-wheeler trails for hrs, find road, find car. Sunrise summit Sugarloaf instead. See a moose sign, Anonymous hatches a devious plan. Decided to take huge moose sign, finally broke massive bolts, almost didn’t fit in trunk of the car. Didn’t get to the top of Sugarloaf, but nice sunset high up anyways, good time. Type 2 fun. Moose sign today resides in the Eroom. Moral of the story – State property makes for excellent decorations. Glad that anonymous graduated years ago, we have no idea who it was. Because prosecution n stuff.

Justine – Audrey, Emmet, Justine, Patrick Wood, and 1 unnamed companion really wanted to go hiking, went to Bigelows. Didn’t plan much of a route. Unnamed companion had strong ideas about route. Objectively, not a bad thing. Cloudy, start hiking, all looks good, cloudy but aight. Got to top, “windier than anything” (whoa), holding on for dear life, cant see anything. “Can we go down now?” – some people. “Nope.” – Unnamed companion –> scenic route. A couple of members were “very done” before actually finished. Hike was a lot longer than had hoped due to one unnamed member. All still friends 🙂

Bruno – Outside of Lander, WY. Heinous dirt road to get to the top of a route, let Nate drive car (‘first mistake”). Little bit of snow, “take it easy”. Nate does not seem to hear. Almost to top, can see parking lot, ford C max, “fatter version of the prius”. Snowbank up ahead. “We’ll just park here” -Everybody. “pffft we got this” – Nate. Get beached (banked?) on a snow bank. Try for 3 hours to move car, everybody is bleeding, snow and dirt everywhere, Nate called his mom at one point (in Nate’s defense, moms know their shit). Snapped biners trying to get towed. Decided to try turning on traction control, car immediately rolled out. Three hours well spent.

VerMiles – Smugglers Notch in VT, he and friends decide to sleep in an ice cave. Forgot about thaw. Wet, cold, boulders rolling down the mountain. Decided to sleep right in the parking lot, found an avi shovel (whole trip immediately worth it), raining, windy, disgusting out, entire tent starts rolling across the parking lot with Miles and other small friend in it. Set up the tent again, but tent got screwed up.  Moral of the story, stake your tent down.

Ben – At Bachelor, 5-6 years ago, someone dug a snow cave in a plowed snow bank. Plow came by again –> he died. Thank you Ben.

Jordan “6 years old in this story” Cargill – Cheerier note than dead man, magnificent snowbanks at babysitter’s house, just gotten bright new shiny orange bike. Kids wanted him to ride it over the snowbank. Succumbed to peer pressure. 6 times, half way up. 7th try, made it up! On top “fuck yeah” . Fell of the other side  face first into dog shit. Way funnier if visualized with 21 year old Jordan.

I thought we were gonna make it out without telling a poop story, but Jordan saved the day. Nice.

1 for the homie (not Jordan) 

Happy shitty, cold rain and 4 pm darkness,

Love and glove,

A member of T-Pain’s Posse

Procrastination Support Network